This is a poem I wrote in 2008. It is titled "Learning, Part 10"

The endless liquid ocean meets

The eternal sky

And the point of their intersection

Indeterminate.

Eternal sky

Awash in crimson - purple,

Its heat reaching me while its

Loving fingers hold my face.

Wind blowing my direction

Whispering, you are loved as you are.

God of the Universe

Lives within this vessel

Chipped and worn from life’s many challenges;

Remaining intact and filled to the top.

Those who believe God is “out there”

Are starving, impoverished souls.

The divinity resides within and is manifested

In the beauty of our creation; the wonders of our Universe.

Those who seek will find

The love of That which dwells within us,

Those who surround protect and love us

And a Universe that is connected -

An all-conspiring symphony of love.

How could we not know?

I promise to keep my eyes open in wide wonder,

And to seek.

June 11, 2010

Well, it's 11:00 EST and I've already managed to get my mother and my daughter mad at me. The latter is a common occurrence (she's 19) so it's pretty much daily. But not so with my mother; I hate to make her upset and avoid it at all costs. She is beginning to become quite forgetful and I think her mind is slipping. I'll admit I got a little short with her, but I made things right and all is well. I need to remember to be more patient. My daughter will most likely give me the "silent treatment" all day which is greatly preferred over our typical conversations. Such it is in this, the "Sandwich Generation."

A new Hep C article came out in the Journal of the American Family Physician. Here's the link:
http://cme.medscape.com/viewarticle/723198?src=cmenews&uac=119460BJ

The new treatment program is coming very close to FDA approval. The problem for me is that my liver is already far too damaged. I could try it; it would involve another round of standard treatment with the addition of a third drug. I am not sure I'd be a candidate since as of 2006 I was already in Stage III liver disease. Stage IV is all-out cirrhosis and I know I'm close. I was close when they staged me at III - there was some evidence of cirrhosis at that time so it's pretty doubtful I'd meet treatment criteria. Plus I just don't know about another round of treatment - AKA "HELL"; I'd have to be pretty sure it would work. Like at least 98%.

Now I'll just go on with my day and try to be happy. Life is really a gift, but to be honest - I'm not feelin' it today.