Saturday, July 3, 2010

It's always something

My husband & I had decided to clean house today. He's great about helping and my house is simply too overwhelming for me to do alone. It was built in 1897 and has all the charm of an old home, but it has 6 bedrooms and 3 full bathrooms. If I clean it myself it takes me more than a day. It was nice because it took both of us about 4 hours working together. But now that we are done, I am absolutely whipped and not feeling well at all. I should also mention that we took an early morning bike ride - it is beautiful outside. Perhaps I've overdone it & I simply need to rest. We've lived in this house 23 years and it's all the kids know; its a cozy, charming home. Not fancy - just right and best of all, it's paid for. I've asked my husband to promise me never to sell it; our kids are very attached and once I am gone I want them to still have the house and all the memories here. It's setup perfectly for a single person to live on just the main floor itself. So, he has promised. That's all I've asked of him as far as promises.

Something I've got to pay close attention to is pacing myself. For example, we are planning on kayaking on Monday (double kayak, so I can get lazy if I want) which means I need to rest most of the day tomorrow. I've found what works well for me. The most predominant symptom of Hep C is fatigue, and sometimes it is overwhelming. It feels like being hit by a train - or running into a wall. It's not a need of sleep; it's a need of rest. Anyone who knew me before knows I am a bundle of high-energy so this has been a HUGE adjustment, but I think I've got it down. I sure am hoping for that kayak trip on Monday because it's my favorite spot; a winding, wooded river that is very secluded and teeming with wildlife. We've also never encountered other kayakers there. It's a 4-hour trip and there is not a house or any sign of civilization to be seen until the very end. I just love it. If you keep going, the river feeds into Lake Michigan. Before I was sick, a friend and I kayaked the entire river, went all the way to Lake Michigan and kayaked north to the beach. I could never,ever do that now - that's when I was in top physical condition. But I'm glad we did it because it's a great memory.

And we have a nice 4-day weekend next weekend too - we've planned a little getaway, just my husband and I. I'm excited about that. I did hear from my mountain man backpacker son - he took a zero day (day off from hiking to do laundry, shower, get a hotel, resupply, etc.) and let me know how it's going. He's having a great time and has met a few people along the way. 6 years ago, I'd have gone with him - I can hardly stand it because I love the outdoors, but it's one of those things I've had to give up and I find less grueling ways to get myself out into nature. I cannot live without the great outdoors, and my love for it was a gift from my grandfather. He and grandma lived on a non-operational farm and he spent his time making trails for us through the woods. We'd go over to visit and he would walk us through, pointing out every beehive, bird's nest, type of fungi, etc. I am eternally grateful to him for instilling that love of nature in me. He's been gone 27 years now and I still miss him a lot. Thinking of you today, Grandpa. A German immigrant and man of few words.