Saturday, August 7, 2010

Getting up again

"It is not having been in the dark house, but having left it, that counts." ~ Theodore Roosevelt
The quote from our former President is similar to those that say "it's not how many times you get knocked down - it's that you keep getting back up."

Today I got back up. I have no idea whatsoever what caused me to be so ill yesterday, but after a slow start this morning I am feeling pretty well. I was able to accomplish my goals for the day and enjoyed fun time with my husband, daughter & some of her friends. So...I am grateful.

I've seen my share of darkness; I've certainly been knocked down and kicked around a bit but overall I have a positive attitude. I view myself as a fighter (and most who know me well would agree). I often wonder why some people are able to withstand adversity while others do not. I don't see it as personal strength or weakness, but more just the way we are wired. I've known some truly great people who succumb to personal struggles, be it with suicide, alcoholism, addiction or other forms of what I feel are "slow suicide. " It's painful to watch a person self-destruct when you know they have a beautiful soul. Don't get me wrong -I've been in those dark places but I don't tend to stay there long at all. Try to psychoanalyze if you wish, but there are simply too many gray areas.

A friend recently blogged about how our world is not black and white, often it is filled with gray...those in-between zones where we don't have an answer. I kinda like that idea. Feeling like everything has to be black and white makes me uncomfortable, whereas the gray seems safe. So, why I tend to get back up, crawl out of the darkness and keep going forward is a mystery to me and that's fine. I hope I'll be getting back up again tomorrow and it's another good day.