Monday, May 16, 2011

How I feel when I wake up.....

This has been going on for a few months now. How I feel when I wake up. I'm wondering if other people with chronic illness or terminal disease share this experience.

I do not look forward to waking up in the morning. Regardless of how well/poorly I slept or dreamt, I wake up feeling awful. It's completely emotional and is not conscious thought.

I WAKE UP FEELING A TERRIBLE SENSE OF DOOM. I wake up very aware of my illness - the symptoms in my body are so obviously those of someone seriously ill. I find that I feel deep sadness that it's real; that I am sick, not getting better and may or may not have to struggle through the day. I become aware of my declining health and I feel an overwhelming sense of loss and sadness.

Once I'm up, I am fine. The feeling leaves. It sometimes lasts just a few seconds when I get moving and other times a few minutes, but never long. Is this normal? Do others feel this way?
Please tell me if you share these feelings; I must say it's awful.