Saturday, July 10, 2010

Thinking & worrying

I've been thinking about where I was last year at this time - how I was doing, and I've realized that my illness really has progressed quite a bit from where I was last summer. No doubt about it, I'm becoming more sick. I'm getting closer to not being able to do much by myself unless I do it first thing in the morning (when I'm at my best) - usually before noon. After that, most things are near impossible without help. My husband has been great about helping me and we talked a lot last night about the future and knowing that at some point I'll need a caregiver. I'm not there yet; right now what I need more is a driver. It's surprising just how exhausting driving can be. My husband drove me to all my appointments this week because I just didn't feel well enough to be as alert as needed. I take driving very seriously - I will not drive if I take a pain pill nor will I drive if I don't feel well because I know I simply don't have the concentration.

But mostly today, I have a heavy heart. I can't say too much but I am VERY concerned about one of my children who is self-destructing. No matter how old our children are we never stop being their mother (my mother tells me this all the time now - she worries about me a lot). So, please send your positive thoughts and prayers for my adult child who is really struggling. And maybe, just maybe something will happen to make a change.