I've been having sleep problems on and off for some time now. Believe me, I've tried everything. I'm one of those weird people who has paradoxical reactions to many medications, and sleeping remedies are one. Melatonin? Makes me hyper! Glass of warm milk? Gives me a stomachache! I'm a nurse practitioner and it's usually me giving out advice on improving sleep cycles. Well, I've taken my own advice and....nothing is working.
And when I am struggling to sleep, my mind starts to think and I make "lists" of stuff. Sometimes I wake up and write them down, as I did last night. Sometimes it just feels like I have so much weight on my shoulders and it helps to write it all down. I won't write it here - it's quite a depressing list, but it did help me clarify my issues for the moment and it's no wonder I feel the burden. There's a lot on my plate.
A friend of mine lost her only son nearly a year ago in a boating accident. The 1-year anniversary is coming up soon. I read Elizabeth Edwards' book recently and she not only lost her 16 year-old son in a car accident, but is dying of incurable breast cancer....and if that's not enough, her husband is a cheater and has an illegitimate child with a mistress. I'm sure you've all read the headlines. My friend and I spoke of Ms. Edwards' book and in the context of our lives how things can always be worse. You don't have to look far to find someone with a story more horrific than yours or entire cultures of people (such as those in Haiti, and now Pakistan) whose lives are destroyed.
So, I tell myself not to whine. I tell myself to be happy things aren't worse. And I pray for those whose lives live out in daily torture - even here in our own country.
So today I'm keeping it in perspective. And hoping I CAN SLEEP tonight.
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