Silence

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

While reading for preparation in writing my book, I came across the quote above. I hit the nail on the head. One of the most difficult things in living with illness for me has been the loss of many friends and even a few family members. None of my friends ever said, "Hey Sue, we are not friends anymore", no nothing that obvious. The friendships simply faded away....slowly, until there was nothing left. "I never know when to call you - you might be resting" is a common concern. Plus...and I'm going to say it: it ain't easy being my friend sometimes. We may make a date to have lunch, go hiking in the woods...it doesn't matter, I'm likely to cancel. I listen to my body very closely, pace myself and if the timing is off, I cancel.

I'm coming up on 5 years since my diagnosis. My nurse case manager called me yesterday to say that everything was approved for me to go forward with a liver transplant workup and consultation. That is some scary stuff, but it's the only option left for me and I will explore the pros and cons.

For now, I am grieving the loss of my best friend, working on writing my book and trying to put one foot in front of the other. The gales of wind that brought 25 ft. swells to Lake Michigan yesterday seemed an appropriate metaphor for the way I am feeling now. Think about those you love and might be hurting; are you silent?