Sadness

I really struggled today. I took one of those "I feel sorry for myself and I'm gonna cry and do what I feel like" days. I never allowed myself to do that before, but geeze - a person can only take so much. I also didn't feel great, just a so-so day.

I did get a few calls and one was from one of my dearest childhood friends I've remained in contact with my whole life. She, too is a nurse and lives in Texas. One of her colleagues also has Hep C - contracted via accidental needlestick (like me) - and took her first Interferon injection today, i.e. began her first day of treatment. My friend shared my blog and I'm so happy because I was hoping that others who were infected would find this place to share their stories. I won't use her name -but if you're reading this, I've been thinking about you all day. I remember my first injection of my first round of treatment. I was still working full-time and had no idea how it would affect me. I recall taking that syringe, plunging it into my abdomen and thinking "my life will never be the same." I wish you well and hope your side effects are minimal in the next 24 hours.

I was also thinking - isn't it just something that one little poke of one little needle one time can alter the course of another person's life forever? Who would ever think that health care is a dangerous field? Medical professionals are just out there doing their best all the time to help people and we often forget the dangers.

Feeling a whole lot of sadness today. Feeling very alone. Feeling like it just isn't fair and wondering why this all had to happen. There's an abundance of that in the world - the older we get, the more it piles up. People are out there suffering in ways that make mine look like a cakewalk. I heard a quote today and I will leave you with this:
Please God, if you send me a blessing - don't send it in disguise.
:)